How to talk about money in a job interview without making it awkward

Talking salary with a hiring manager during your job search can feel awkward.

It seems like there's never a right time or place to broach the subject. "You don't want to wait too long, but the last thing you want to do is bring it up too early and annoy the hiring manager," says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert, author, and leadership coach.

"Prospective employers are not jumping at the chance to divulge salary ranges because they typically want to leave their options open. If they were to immediately blurt out that the position pays between $80,000 and $100,000, they know you're not going to shoot for $80,000," she explains. So how do you navigate the timing of the big money question?

"If you're hearing the advice that you should absolutely wait until the second interview to talk pay, or that you must find out in the first phone conversation, consider this: There are no rules, just variables," says Taylor.

Here are some steps you can take to determine when and how to bring up salary:

Figure out if the employer is even interested in you

Before you bring up money, try to get a better sense of how interested the employer is in you.

"Pay close attention to the length and quality of your initial email or phone screening," says Taylor. "Ask yourself: How long did the initial phone call last? Was there laughter? Did the email reveal enthusiasm? These are initial indicators of how aggressive you can be."

If you feel fairly certain there was no chemistry and a job offer isn't in the cards, hold off on the salary discussion. 

Consider your level of experience.

If you're fairly new to the job market, say entry level, this is one more factor to consider, Taylor says.

"At this point in your career, it's more customary to hold back on salary discussions before you enter the job interview versus being a mid-manager with five to 10 years experience."

Know the risks of bringing it up too early.

It's no secret that money is important to most people — but you don't want the hiring manager to think that's what drives you, or what's mostimportant to you.

Bringing up salary too soon can send the wrong message, so if you really love the position and know deep down you'd take it regardless of the pay, it might not be worth bringing it up until the very end.

Listen to your gut.

Job candidates often play it too safe and wait for the company to make the first move.

"If waiting for this critical piece of the puzzle is driving you crazy during a very promising conversation, then follow your gut and ask," says Taylor. "It's disheartening when you are excited about a position, only to find out at the eleventh hour that the compensation was reminiscent of your salary five years ago." 

Wait until they start selling you on the job

There may come a moment in the process where you suddenly feel like the tables have turned: You're no longer trying to sell your skills or qualifications to the employer — the employer is trying to sell you on the job. 

When that happens, you're in the clear. 

Ease into it.

Once you feel like it's the right time to bring it up — and remember, there's no "magical time" that's right; it's different in every situation — you can ease into the conversation is by asking: "Would you be the right person to discuss salary with? (Pause.) If so, is this a convenient time to discuss it?" 

It can make things less awkward than just blurting out: "How much does the job pay?!"

Plus, if the interviewer isn't the right person to talk money with (maybe that's someone in HR's job), that's good information to have.

Expect a vague answer.

Even if you feel that the question flowed well with the conversation, you may not get a straight answer.

The interviewer might just say, "The pay is very competitive." So be patient — it might take the interviewer more time to get to know you before they're ready to reveal that information, says Taylor. 

Be prepared for the question to be flipped back to you.

If you do ask for the salary or range, be prepared to be asked what range you're looking for, or what you're currently making, Taylor says.

Know ahead of time how you want to answer these questions. Responding with lots of "ummms" and "uhhhs" will make things even more uncomfortable for both of you.

"If you're asked about your current or recent salary, try to give a range first," she advises. "Try not to back yourself into a corner. This can seem like a ping-pong match, but you can still defer politely by saying that you're more interested in the opportunity than salary itself."

Have a threshold in mind

Know in advance the lowest salary you'd accept. "You'll lessen your chances of awkward exchanges if you know exactly what you want and stick with it," she says. "Of course you'll want to do your homework first, through such sites as Glassdoor, Payscale, and your social networks, to know what's realistic." 

Be prepared to negotiate.

Not only do you want to have a "minimum" number in mind, but you should also have a plan for how to get there.

There are certain tricks you can use, like striking a power pose or offering a salary range — and phrases to avoid, such as "I think" or "I'm sorry" — to successfully negotiate your pay.

Being prepared will make things a lot less awkward, and will certainly help you get closer to the number you feel you deserve. 

Don't obsess over the money.

Yes, money is important — but don't obsess over it.

Again, bringing it up too early, or too frequently, will send the wrong message. Focus more on why you're excited about the opportunity and less on how much the salary will influence your decision on whether or not you'd take the job. 

It's especially important that you not make threats like, "If you can't give me $100,000, I won't take the job," or, "I'll only accept if you give me $100,000." Even if that's what you're thinking, don't say it out loud.

Watch for red flags.

"Some companies may drag out the salary discussion to the point that you question whether you can trust the employer to deliver on their initial interest or promises," Taylor explains. "Or they may be vague and leave you not knowing what you can really earn, especially with sales-based positions where there's a large unknown."

If you have this uneasy feeling, follow your instinct and continue your search.

13 public speaking mistakes you don't want to make

And, as most people know, when we're nervous or anxious, our minds and bodies tend to do weird things that we can't always control.

However, if you make a conscious effort, you may be able to avoid some of the common mistakes public speakers make.

Here are some habits you'll want to avoid, along with their potential consequences and suggested remedies: 

1. Not tailoring your message to your audience.

As Benjamin Disraeli once said, "Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours."

On the other hand, if you don't talk to your audience about themselves, they most likely won't listen, says Darlene Price, president of Well Said, Inc. and author of "Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results." "Speakers frequently fall into the bad habit of giving generic off-the-shelf presentations that are not tailored to address the needs of this particular audience. Listeners know when the speaker has not done their homework, and their response ranges from disappointment and frustration to anger and disengaging."

To avoid this, ask yourself: Who is my audience? What are their burning issues? How does my message help them? How much do they know about my topic? What will I ask them to do in response to my message? "All the best practices in public speaking depend upon this first tenet: Know Your Audience." 

2. Eye dart.

From beginners to veterans, the majority of speakers fail to maintain meaningful, sustained eye contact with their listeners. "Unconsciously, their eyes scurry from person to person, darting around the room, without ever pausing to actually see the recipients of their message," Price says. "A lack of eye contact implies a list of offenses: insincerity, disinterest, detachment, insecurity, shiftiness, and even arrogance."

To visually connect, maintain eye contact for at least two to three seconds per person, or long enough to complete a full phrase or sentence. Effective eye communication is the most important nonverbal skill in a speaker's toolbox. 

3. Distracting mannerisms.

There are at least 20 common tics to tackle, including: clenching or wringing your hands, pacing back and forth, keeping your hands in pockets, jingling change or keys, twisting your ring, gripping the lectern, licking your lips, adjusting your hair or clothing, fidgeting with a pen, bobbing your head, placing your arms behind your back, and touching your face. "One or more of these habits can distract the audience from your message and jeopardize your credibility," Price explains.

As a remedy, record yourself speaking and watch the playback. "Practice often to increase your comfort level and reduce anxiety. Take a public speaking class or enlist the help of a local coach to eliminate distracting mannerisms and habituate purposeful movement."

4. Low energy.

"As the Guinness World Record holder for the most performances in the same Broadway show, George Lee Andrews is famous for playing the role of Monsieur André in The Phantom of the Opera," Price says. "Surely, he must have felt tired during at least one or two of his 9,382 performances, but he didn't show it considering his contract was renewed 45 times over 23 years."

Enthusiasm, defined as eager enjoyment and active interest, is an audience's most desired trait in a presenter. Conversely, a boring delivery — evidenced by a low monotone voice, dull facial expressions, and overall lethargy — is their most disliked trait.

"To avoid losing your audience in a New York minute, crank up the energy level," says Price. "Speak expressively, smile sincerely, move naturally, and enjoy the moment."

5. Not rehearsing.

Most proficient presenters prepare. "That is, they know the topic, organize their content, design a slide deck, and study their notes," Price says.

However, according to a recent survey she conducted, less than 2% of over 5,000 business presenters in Fortune 100 companies actually conduct a dress rehearsal and practice their presentation aloud. This bad habit results in the audience seeing and hearing the unrefined run-through, versus the finessed final performance.

"To optimize their perception of you and get the outcome you want, perform the entire presentation aloud at least once, and the opening and closing at least three times," she suggests.

6. Data dumping.

"It's understandable. After all, our credibility is on the line when we stand up and speak out," Price says. "So, to be safe, we focus almost entirely on what Aristotle called Logos, which includes the left-brain functions of logic, language, analysis, reasoning, critical thinking, and numbers."

When we rely too heavily on this type of content, we end up talking too long, reading too many over-crowded illegible slides, and turning our backs on the most important element of all: the audience. "Ditch the habit of data dumping," she suggests. "It loses the audience and undermines your innate ability to inspire, connect, and persuade."

7. Not inspiring.

Even more vital to persuasion than Logos, says Aristotle, is Pathos, which includes the right-brain activities of emotions, images, stories, examples, empathy, humor, imagination, color, sounds, touch, and rapport, Price says.

"Tomes of studies show human beings typically make decisions based on emotions first (Pathos); then, we look for the facts and figures to justify it (Logos). Audience members do the same. With your words, actions, and visuals, seek first to inspire an emotion in them (joy, surprise, hope, excitement, love, empathy, vulnerability, sadness, fear, envy, guilt). Then, deliver the analysis to justify the emotion."

An engaging, memorable, and persuasive presentation is balanced with both information and inspiration. "It speaks to the head and the heart, leveraging both facts and feelings," she says.

8. Lack of pauses.

Many speakers have the bad habit of rushing through their content. Like a runaway train, they speed down the track out of control, unable to stop and turn at critical junctures.

The causes are often anxiety, adrenaline, or time constraints, Price says. "Regardless of the reason, the three times you definitely want to pause include: before and after you say something very important which you want your audience to remember; before and after you transition from one key talking point to the next; and between your opening, main body, and closing."

When you consciously use silence as a rhetorical device, you'll come across as more self-confident, your message will be more impactful, and your audience will remember more of what you say.

9. Not crafting a powerful opening.

"According to Plato, 'The beginning is the most important part of the work.' Yet, it's a common bad habit for speakers to waste those precious opening seconds rambling pointlessly, telling a joke, reading an agenda, or apologizing needlessly, all of which fail to grab the audience's attention and motivate them to listen," Price says.

You, your message, and your audience deserve much more.

So, open with a bang.
 Invest the thought, time and effort to craft and memorize "the most important part of the work." For example, tell an engaging, relevant story; state a startling statistic; or ask a thought-provoking question.

10. Using too much (or not enough) humor.

It's hard to determine exactly how much humor to use in a speech — especially if you don't know your audience well.

Of course, you don't want your presentation to be dry and boring, but you also don't want to come off like you're trying too hard to be a stand-up comedian.

A good rule of thumb is to be yourself, and infuse a bit of humor when appropriate.

Getting the audience to laugh (or at least crack a smile) early on is a great way to break the ice. But run your joke(s) but some friends beforehand to make sure they don't fall flat. 

11. Reading from your slides.

A slideshow can be very helpful for jogging your memory and reinforcing the main points of the presentation to your audience.

However, as Inc. contributing editor Geoffrey James points out, the people watching your presentation can read, so giving them the exact same information verbally and visually can be boring and insulting.

"Use slides as visual signposts for the points you're making rather than a written version or summary of those points," James writes for Inc.

12. Making an excuse or an apology.

Perhaps you're running late and want to let your audience know why. Or maybe you just stepped off a long flight and want to explain why your performance might not be as strong as it would otherwise.

Either way, making an excuse or an apology sets a negative tone and gives people a reason to think your presentation was underwhelming. Instead, take any personal mishaps in stride and let the audience evaluate your performance independently.

"Regardless of how you're feeling, show enthusiasm for being there and make your best effort," James writes.

13. Ending with Q&A.

There's a good chance you've heard a speaker end an otherwise effective presentation with an abrupt, 'That's it. Any questions?' "For the audience, it's like a firework with a wet fuse, otherwise known as a 'dud,'" Price says. "Your grand finale is your last chance to reinforce your key points, ensure the memorability of your message, and motivate the audience to action. Avoid the bad habit of closing on Q&A, which risks ending your presentation on a non-climatic down-in-the-weeds topic."

It's fine to invite the audience's comments and questions; however, be sure to end strong. "Craft an effective three-part closing where you deliver a strong summary; present a call-to-action; and conclude with a powerful closing statement. Develop the habit of saying last what you want your audience to remember most," she concludes.

I'm In Love With My Friend's Man and It's Her Fault

Let me start from the beginning. My friend’s fiancé moved to my city last year and since then she comes to visit every other month. The second time she came to town she asked me to come and stay with her in his place as he goes to work during the day and that’s how I started spending time there. He is a very nice guy and we all got along very well. When my friend left I went back to my house.
Next thing I know she started asking me to go and keep him company when she’s away, or to escort him to places because he doesn’t know his way around.


If he wants to go and hang out she’ll beg me to go with him because he doesn't have friends in town and because she doesn’t want him to start chasing other girls or vice versa.
So we started hanging out occasionally. Whenever my friend is in town she will ask me to come over and I’ll go and stay with them. When she left I started spending more and more time with him but it was very innocent and she knew about it. She even asked me to help her cook for him occasionally and I started cooking and taking over to his place.
During this period I broke up with my boyfriend and it was my friend’s boyfriend that was there for me and consoled me. T this was when I really started having feelings for him. My friend still knew that we were friends and she didn't mind. One night I went to a club in his area and since he lived nearby I went to sleep in his place instead of driving all the way home, although we didn't do anything we spent the whole night talking and I really wanted to make love to him.


I know it is mutual but nobody wants to make the first move. My friend is coming to town next week and I’m dreading it. I love this guy more than I loved my ex and somehow we feel perfect together. Honestly I did not plan this to happen and it is not in my nature, that is why my friend trusted me so much with her boyfriend, not that she’s naive.
I really don’t want to hurt her but I don’t think I can bear to see them together and I can’t stop thinking about him. I know you will say I should forget him and not hurt my friend bla bla but it’s not that easy. I really love this guy and before u judge me remember she was the one that pushed me to it. What if we are meant to be, what if God used my friend to bring us together?


Please what will you do if you are me?

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10 Twitter Mistakes Newbies Make.

1  You Have No Profile Picture

People want to see that you're a real person. You can use a simple headshot or your logo, but never leave it as an egg. Remember people like to connect with "real" people.

2 You Didn't Fill Out Your Bio

Another important element you need to give some attention to is writing your bio. Use keywords to describe who you are in 160 characters or less. This is your chance to tell other Twitter-ers who you are and about your experience and interests. I can guarantee most will look at your profile. Of course, I can't guarantee they'll follow and communicate, but you're a step closer to it.

3  You Use The Follow-unfollow Scheme To Get More Followers

People do this to get attention. Sharing awesome content and engaging with people on your stream is the best way to get attention, not by being gimmicky.

4 Too much negativity.

 No one wants to follow a depressing tweeter. Keep your tweets positive and your followers will act accordingly.

5  Not leaving enough space to retweet. 

Just because you have 140 characters, doesn't mean you need to use them all. It’s usually a good idea to keep posts to about 120 characters to allow people who re-tweet with the RT format the ability to do so without having to edit your tweet for length.

6  Not shortening links in your Tweets.

 This is one of the most common mistakes and it doesn't need to be. Check out link shorteners like bit.ly or ow.ly. You’ll also be able to track the number of clicks the links you’re sharing get with these tools.

7  Long Twitter handles.

 If your handle is longer than the first half of your tweet, you’re losing valuable space. Keep handles as short as possible so you have enough room to actually write something.

8 Not responding to Tweets.

 If you’re not being social, why are you on social media? You might not be able to respond to everything, but do your best to answer questions and address any negative feedback. And always say thanks when it’s positive.

9 #Hashtag Abuse. 

Hashtags are without a doubt the most interesting part of Twitter. But in addition to sometimes being hilarious, they are extremely helpful for organization purposes. Don’t abuse the hashtag, save it for when you need it.

10 Refusal to change these attitudes